Okay, so maybe you do. Maybe you are getting to know me. Maybe we are related. But let's assume you don't know me.
Last night I was leaving a public space with my son. We had finished our event and were headed home to wind down. A mom who sees me there regularly asked if K was our only child. I replied, "Yes for now." She then inquired about timing for another. Who hasn't asked this question? I know I have.
Yesterday it hit me out of no where. You see right now this is a rough subject for me. I would adopt again tomorrow, but I have to consider my whole family in this. I have to think about my husband's work/travel schedule. My son's school schedule. My work schedule. Could it work? Yes. Are we all in the same place? Honestly no.
I also debated how much I wanted to share with this woman. Laughable, isn't it? I post here for all the world to read and yet I hesitated with this acquaintance.
I did tell her we were waiting for timing, things to settle, and for our whole family to be ready for this. She looked puzzled and said something that no one has said to me..."I guess people are spacing their children further apart these days."
I was shocked by this. I felt slightly judged because I didn't have the 2.5 kids all two years apart. I told her the truth. I told her that we planned to adopt a child closer to K's age.
Her next reaction I laughed at inwardly. She told me how hard it is to adopt. She mentioned friends who struggled to conceive and then were told it would take a long time to adopt. I told her babies do take longer, but was cut short by my impatient five year old headed for the door.
I may take up this conversation again when I see her at the next event. I may wait for her to bring it up. I hope when I do that I have the appropriate words to say.
I am torn between two paths. I never want to hide K's history. Adoption is not shameful. I also don't want to parade him around as a charity project. I sincerely despise being told that I am such a good person for adopting. We did not adopt to save kids. We did so to have a family. For our benefit. We are selfish.
In closing, these commercials put on by the AdCouncil crack me up, and are absolutely true. Don't take someone's friend's cousin's experience as the truth. "There ARE thousands of kids who would LOVE to put up with you."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C3bPoQQyjZ8&feature=youtube_gdata_player
