The Blessings of Being Foster Parents

There is so much good that I can say about our experience as foster parents. We had five beautiful infants and children. They ranged in age from two weeks to two years when they arrived with us. They were each special, and each face is framed in a collage frame on our bedroom wall so that we can pray for them nightly.  

We have fun memories of taking them for their first swim, their first 18 hour road-trip (okay for some this was NOT fun, but still fond memories), first plane ride, first train ride, first vacation, first words, first steps, and first birthdays. One we have his photo of the trip home from the hospital. Another his first time seeing a horse. I have fond memories of a pretty little girl who enthusiastically yelled “YES!” and headed to the door when I asked if she wanted to go shopping. This same princess also picked out her own clothes, I have yet to mother another with such distinct style opinions. I also have pictures of first black-eyes and stitches (thanks to our son and a die-cast train).

These children conditioned and trained us as new parents. They gave us experiences that we might not have had otherwise, like the joy of waking several times a night to feed a newborn or the time you rush in at 2am to lift a crying 15 month old from a crib and have him vomit down your back only to realize he also vomited in his crib. Or the baby who climbs EVERYTHING, who requires you to be in the hallway to remind him to go to bed and not climb out of his crib. I also practiced my pig-tail and braid skills on a couple of princesses.

You see these are unique experiences that we did not have with our son. Things that we would have “missed out on” had we not fostered. Don't misunderstand, we have just as many (probably more) beautiful memories with our son, and so many more to come.

Each was a true blessing to our family, and these stories represent just a fraction of the joy they brought to our lives. Yes, loving kids was the best part of being foster parents. I cannot complain even a moment about them, they were all a gift. I would never trade these memories, or my time with these kids, not for anything.  

What Can I Do?

There is an ad campaign here in the Northwest, a local mattress store holds regular drives for supplies for foster kids. Before school starts they collect school supplies, in the fall they collect winter coats, and year-round they are bringing awareness. Their tag line is "Not everyone can be a foster parent, but anyone can help a foster child." I want to second that statement. ANYONE can help a foster child.
I regularly get questions about how to do this. I want to address that here. Get involved on some level. If you know a foster parent, babysit for them. Take their kids for an evening. You don't know how much this means to them, especially if their kids have special needs, which all foster kids do, that require extra care.
Second, if you have more time sign up to be a respite provider for foster kids. Contact your local DHS office or Children's Services office to learn how to do this. It might require classes, a background check, and finger printing, or it might require less than this. This enables you to care for foster kids overnight or for the weekend. Even though we no longer take placements, I still take babies/toddlers for respite when I am able to. There are very few people a foster family can leave their kids with overnight, become one of those people/families. You never know, you might fall in love...which is how we ended up adopting our son.
Third, you can become a CASA volunteer. A Court Appointed Special Advocate, is someone who is unbiased to either the parent's agenda or the agencies agenda. Their responsibility is to review the case and advocate for the best interests of the child. They work closely with the child's lawyer, case worker, foster parents, and most importantly THE CHILD to figure out what is best for the child. This requires you to attend all family meetings at DHS, visit the child, attend all court hearings, and remain in contact with all who are involved.
Lastly, look into your local Child Welfare laws and advocate for them to be better enforced or changed if need be. If you look at our government and how they allot time for issues, they often focus on those who can vote or those who can support their campaigns (just my humble opinion), which means that children are ignored. Our children are our future and without changes in our system, these children face a very uncertain future. 50% of foster children DO NOT graduate high school and only 3% earn a college degree. WE as a nation need to advocate for better for OUR kids.
"It takes a village to raise a child." Can you help to become that village?

http://www.childwelfare.gov/
http://www.casaforchildren.org/

GET IT OVER WITH!!!

We all know the tell-tale sign of pregnancy, usually it begins with a missed cycle. For many this can be a very exciting time, and it has been for me in the early days of trying to conceive, but it has typically been followed by heartache. As I have grown older, it has become a time of indifference. Over time I have created my own set of missed period rules (sorry guys, you're gonna have to deal with this topic).

Rule #1 if your period is one-day late, get intimate. Somehow I always start after being intimate with my husband. The second tried, and true, trigger is to window-shop for baby stuff. I know, I should know better than to get excited, but the stuff is SO CUTE. Third is to share with your spouse and a friend or two. Once you all get excited...Aunt Flo is there to ruin your day. If this doesn't work, then around day four to seven of being late, take a pregnancy test. Its like your body messes with you, "oh, you just spent $9 on a pregnancy test? Lol, GOTCHA!"

Twice in my marriage have I missed a period completely. I head to the doctor, thinking "maybe?" Only to be told that I am stressed out, and that is why my body skipped a period. Most recently, I was informed that my medication was off which is why my period was skipped. Then 28 days after the first should have started, I have another. Its like clockwork.

I know we all have our stories, and our tried and true period-starters. These are just mine. My dream for myself and all of you is that we will conceive. We will all know the joy of seeing the "+" on the test. We will experience the first ultrasound of our babies. That first kick will bring tears to our eyes and a lump to our throat. Then finally after nine glorious months, we will hold our miracle in our arms. Some of us will experience that, be it through IVF, Surrogate, or another unexplained miracle. Some (like me) will just see a baby, fall in love, and know that he was meant to be ours. No matter how your family is built, there are miracles all around. Find a way to smile and be thankful.