The Princess and the Giant

I had a friend today who asked if we had ever fostered any little girls. We have. Our long-term fosters were all boys, but there were two princess. One stayed with us just a week until a space opened in her old foster home and another was with us just three weeks. Both offered challenges unique to girls, and to themselves.
The one I am thinking of today was nearly two when she came to us. She had so much SASS!
The first day we had her, I realized that we were lacking in little girl clothes. I had one pair of corduroy overalls and a red onesie in her size. But that was it! Not exactly the pink frills and bows that a Princess needs. I dressed her in those clothes that first day, and as soon as nap time for my son and other foster son hit, I left them with my husband. Then I asked her if she wanted to go shopping. The sassy walk to the door and "YES!" was my answer.
At the store, I was browsing the clearance and sales sections for a deal when she approached me with a pair of skinny jeans trimmed in pink stitching. I shuddered at the price, but she was insistent THIS was what she wanted. Laughing at her fashion sense, I made the purchase, figuring that she was worth every penny. Let me tell you she ROCKED those skinny jeans!
My next lesson from this little girl was not so much fun. See at this time I was working part-time (for some wonderful employers) to keep our health insurance benefits. We had a system worked out where my husband would come home and "relieve me" of momma duties so that I could go to work. I hugged the kids and left. Once I got to work I got a call from him that our Princess hadn't stopped crying since I had left. He had called his mom to come and help get her in jammies since she was pacing out of arms reach from him sobbing. I am so thankful for the fact that my mother-in-law was able to come help and stay with him until I got off of work and home four hours later, but she cannot do this every time I have to go to work.
It was the next day at Costco that I devised a plan. I grabbed a Costco sized bag of gummy bears, and informed Princess that these were "Daddy L's" and if she wanted some, she had to ask. I figured that in time she would see that he was safe. When he got home, she came to me and asked for some candy. I told her that they weren't mine, and she walked to L pointing at the top of the fridge. This was a start, so he gave her some...within time she began using her words to ask. Then within a week I walked around the corner to see him sitting cross-legged on the floor reading a book with her in his lap!  SUCCESS!!!
I still don't know what happened to this Princess to make her fearful of men, even my kind-hearted husband. I have my assumptions, but won't share those here. I guess the moral of the story is that each child, whether a foster placement, an adoptive placement, a student in church or school, or a kid on your sports team has their own back story and their own challenges. They are worth it. Figure out how, with time you can meet and over come those challenges with them. I promise, they are so worth it.