My poor husband, remember he is also 22 years old, had no clue how to handle me. He became distant, cut off, and wouldn't react when I'd get upset. I took this to mean indifference. He didn't take this as seriously as I did. Maybe he lied when he said he wanted children, maybe he couldn't care less about what I WAS GOING THROUGH! Seriously not the best year of our life together.
He later he shared with me that he had no clue how to respond to this emotional train-wreck of a wife. The woman who had taken residence in his happy bride. So his response became silence, because he felt like "as the man" he had to be the strong one. Deep inside he was hurting, broken hearted, and confused, but because of my own struggle with myself, I was unable to see his struggles.
After months and months of this, my husband finally told me that we had to let go of this...that the charting, meds, poking, and prodding had to end. He was obviously frustrated and angry. I agreed with him, not sure now if it was so simple, or if it was a Biblical "submit moment", or if I thought that I would continue on my own (because I am more hard headed and stubborn than a mule fighting to go to a poisoned watering hole). Regardless of why I agreed to stop, which I seriously cannot remember. We did. Just as quickly as it began, we stopped talking fertility with our doctors and charting. We gave up pushing for a baby and focused on loving each other, after-all we had a whole life and story to share with each other.
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