The Dark Days: My Tantrums

After charting for several months, and taking synthroid, my doctor felt that my body might need a little kick to help me ovulate. Like many women just starting on this journey I was put on Clomid. I have known SEVERAL women who were able to conceive successfully with just a couple of months of Clomid. Sadly, I was not one of them.
What I became was a whole other person. My poor husband was now dealing with a hormonal psychopath, who would fly off the handle at the littlest things. (Remember, I am roughly 22 at this point, so not really a "full-grown woman" yet and still coming into my own personality.) Let's not even begin discussing my mood swings during "that time of the month".
Okay, let's discuss them. When "Aunt Flo" came to visit, I would burst into tears and go into a deep depression. I struggled to deal with my day-to-day life and I would cry for hours on end...I would scream literally SCREAM at my husband as well as at God for not giving me what I desired. For God making me an inferior woman and for forcing this upon me.
If that wasn't bad enough, I dreaded going to baby showers, hearing about friends and family who were expecting, and Mother's/Father's Day. I remember laying across my bed screaming, cursing, and crying over birth announcements. I remember tearing up (or avoiding all-together) church on Mother's and Father's Day. I remember getting that age-old question of "When are you guys going to have kids". After a while I would shrug and say (with bitterness), "When God wants us to".